Coaches Round Table - Any ideas on how to involve our kids in our wedding ceremony?

Any ideas on how to involve our kids in our wedding ceremony?

We are getting married in two months and was wondering if anyone has any personal stories or ideas they could share with us. I have two daughters from a previous marriage 8 and 5 1/2 and we have a son together 4. Any ideas? Thanks so much in advance! We do intend on my older daughter being a junior bridesmaid, my younger daughter as a flower girl and our son as the ring bearer. But we are looking for something special to include them into the ceremony. Some kind of symbol that things are going to be diffrent now that we have taken vows. We were thinking of promises to the girls or maybe each of us picking up a single flower and putting it into a vase to make a bunch. This would probably be too abstract for the kids to catch onto but... we are still thinking. We want this to be special for them too.

Public Comments

The 8 year old could be a junior bridesmaid, the 5 year old a flower girl, the 4 year old a ring bearer.
I would have the girls as flower girls and your son as the ring bearer.
Have them be part of your wedding party (flower girl/ring bearer, junior bridesmaid). You can also choose to take "family" vows together with your children, similar to your couple vows with each other. At the ceremony or reception you could choose to present them with special gifts (like lockets for the girls). Also instead of a traditional unity candle you can do a "sand ceremony" with colored sand. Get 5 colors of sand (one for each member of your family) and take turns pouring it into a vase to create sand art. Here's a link telling more http://www.wendysweddingworks.com/sandceremony.html
The older girl as a bridesmaid and the younger a flower girl, boy could be ring bearer. Best wishes!
You could do the typical flower girl, ring bearer thing. Do the kids have any talents? One could sing or do a reading etc.... We had our enagement announment from our son's point of view " I would like to announce the enagement of my mommy and daddy". You could do the same with the wedding announment or the invitations. Definatley have the kids names mentioned during the ceremony. They will appreciate that they are being included.
I don't remember the poem that was said, but I went to a blended family wedding. Each person in the family had a vial of colored sand, each color was different. In the ceremony, the reverend read a poem about togetherness while the family members took turns pouring their sand into a bottle. At the end, there were five stripes of sand in the same bottle, to illustrate how they would all be together even though they came from different places. I like this idea because it also gives you a very nice keepsake to remember your ceremony.
I am getting married in october to include our 4 boys 1 of my own and 3 of his we are letting 2 of our boys carry the rings and one is walking with our only flower girl our oldest is 5, we are doing a sand ceremony and he will be pouring the third color of sand to include him, he is really the only one that would understand the process somewhat,
Have you heard of the family medallion?
I like the flower idea. Making promises to just the girls is a little too much... what about your son (even if he's yours together)? They are a little too young for fire or I would suggest having them be involved in a unity candle lighting.
Hi, Have you thought about an eternity flame or sand pouring. All 5 of you could have a candle each and light a larger candle to symbolise a family coming together. Or all of you could pour different coloured sand into a vase - each child choose a coloured sand , prob their fav colour. This also symbolises the coming together of a family. Good luck and have a great wedding :)
If i ever get married again I plan on either giving his kids a small ring or necklace and him giving one to my kids. Kind of like the families are getting married not just you two. I would including maybe a small vow like you vowing to love and cherish the children till death do you part and having him do the same for your children. write a poem about what is a family and read it out loud during the ceremony
Maybe when you say your vows you can also say them to your kids. I went to a wedding and the groom (Whos isn't the kids real father) gave Vows to the kids as well as their mother. It was the most cutest thing i have ever seen!
I am a Wedding officiant in Charleston, SC and this is a question that I get asked a lot. There are many ways to make the children part of the union but here is my favorite. I usually do this after the couple has exchanged their vows. The kids always love being included and I think that you are right to want to include them. Please keep in mind that this ceremony ritual can and should be personalized to suit your own religious preferences or used in a civil ceremony as well. Please feel free to visit my new blog (under construction, so excuse the mess) and check out the "Vows, Ceremony & rituals" section for many more ideas on weddings, vows, and other wedding rituals. Ceremony For Honoring Children During The Wedding (Note: Below you will find the Family Medallion ceremony which can be modified however you like to fit your particular situation, religious beliefs and preferences. Instead of medallions, you can give your child/children flowers, jewelry, hugs or anything else. The important part is to make the child/children feel like they are a part of the festivities.) Often marriage is viewed as the union of two individuals. In reality, however, marriage is much broader. As we give thanks to God for the love that brings "brides name and grooms name" together, so too we recognize the merging of families taking place and the additional love and responsibility that family and friends bring to this relationship. We are, in fact, all members of one family, of Gods family, a relationship emphasized in the scriptures. And it was a happy day for God when we received our new lives, through the truth of God's work and we become, as it were, the first children in God's new family. As part of the family nature of God's creation we recognize "child or childrens names" and the significant role he/she/they play(s) in this marriage today celebrated. (Child/children may be brought forward by grandparents or others if they are too young to stand as members of the wedding party.) Presentation of Medallions (or any other suitable object such as a rose, flower or piece of jewelry) Bride's name and Grooms name, present to Child/childrens names, this/these Family Medallion(s) created as a symbol for new family relationship and in recognition of the hope and joy made visible through this marriage. (Addressing child/children), ___________________, In the placing of this/these medallion(s) ______________pledge to you their continuing love even as they surround him/her now with their arms of support and protection. Reading Our children are gifts entrusted to us not as objects to be controlled but as human beings, each unique in their own personality, each separate in their own identity. Consider the words from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran: You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for they dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goest not backward not tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. Prayer For the Family Creator God, you have made us in your own image, male and female, that together, we may live as members of your one family. As you surround us with never-ending love, strengthen us that we, too, might reflect your love, becoming ever supportive of one another in times of sorrow, forgiving of one in other in times of anger, patient in those moments when we seek to rebuild. We give thanks, O Lord, for the relationship here celebrated. In your presence we are humbled by the recognition that, today, we face a new future, one which love has unfolded and is unfolding before our very eyes. May we ever respect the sanctity of this gift. As you have filled our cup with joy, may we share the strength of our deepening love for one another. Amen. Go forth bound together by the love of God. Go forth with hope and joy and a heart full of dreams, knowing that God is always with you. Amen Introduction of the Family (could use at the end of the ceremony or not) It is my pleasure to present to you ______ and ______ in their new relationship as husband and wife and their son/daughter/children _____________. P.S. Remember (Names of Children): This is your wedding ceremony on your special day. We are here to help you make it into something beautiful and unique so that it reflects the two of you and your one of a kind love. We promise to be here for you and to put our whole heart and soul into making your wedding ceremony the greatest happening of your life. May your union be blessed with peace, love and joy forever.